Since my dad and mom were first introduced to the internet back when there was that terrifying alien mating call that dial-up made, they have been sprinting after technology but never quite getting to the finish line (the finish line being technological literacy). To be fair, Dad is the one who knows his way around a computer. It’s more my Mom who has the problems, which she will vehemently deny while asking me how to turn on the computer. I bought a book for so she would know how to use Facebook for her birthday. (I’m going to have to do a book review on that sometime.) She’s way better now than she used to be, she even has an iPad that she pretends to know how to use! Just kidding, my little sister taught her how to use it.

Anyway, here are a few things I’ve noticed old(er) people use in their writing:

Ellipses ……………
They love them. They eat them for breakfast. They’re married to them. Seriously, for every title my father writes, there is a 75% chance an ellipsis will sneak its way in there.

My dad’s posts featuring ellipsis marks:

When is Enough Enough? Probably Best Not to Answer. . . .

San Diego — We Have a Problem. . . . Probably Not

What I Didn’t Accomplish in 2012 and Other Random Thoughts. . . .

Wow! It’s a Little Nativity Scene. . . .

Has It Really Come To This? Really? Please. . . .

Cars Cannot Fly . . . .

For reference, I have only ONE blog post title with an ellipsis: Pale is the New…Nope. So, I win.. or something.

My mom likes to ellipsis the heck out of everything as well. These are some pearls she’s left on my Facebook wall:

“………….ahhhh michelle,,,,,,,,,,,,,,” <<<< Notice that she used commas on the second half because she thinks of herself as the e.e. cummings of Facebook, or she just wasn’t wearing her reading glasses.

“My shelly………” <<<< Don’t leave me hanging, Mom!

“Miss u………moved all my books and paraphernalia back into your room :)” <<<<  Translation: “I miss you, your room is now the main storage facility for all of my things. <3″

Capital Letters
My dad loves a good CAPS lock button. I’ve noticed that his handwriting often veers into PERMA-YELLING with caps too. I actually had to instruct him not to write the titles of his blog posts in all CAPS because, who writes in all CAPS all the time, Dad? It’s the internet, you don’t have to yell. Use your inside voice.

Weird Emoticons
My mom dreams up these fantasy creatures from the interwebs that no self-respecting tween would ever come up with.

Samples: 

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:>(

:>)

: > )

Despite all of this, I love them. Even when I’m explaining for the millionth time how to upload photos.

- Daughter