I am taking a theater carpentry class currently and it is honestly the best decision I have ever made in my life.* Especially right now as I struggle through my thesis word by word, it feels good to start and finish something successfully, even though it’s nothing more impressive than a basic wooden structure.
Not to brag but I can wield carpentry tools like a young, precocious Jesus (he was a carpenter, FYI – and, yes, I just compared myself to Jesus.) Avoid run-on sentences? No. Cut a piece of wood with a table saw? Yes. Structure a logical framework for paper? No. Sand down the edges of wood successfully? Yes.
My carpentry partner, a good friend, “cannot do math” and therefore, according to her, “cannot make measurements”. She also claims that she is unable to read. So, clearly, I had to take the reins and make a lot of the executive decisions in class today. It really tested our friendship. They say travel is the best way to know if you’re really friends with somebody but I think that taking a shop class together that involves saws and other dangerous power tools is the true test. Trust falls? Hah, try running a saw within inches of someone’s fingers – now that’s trust. Good thing I don’t have fingers.*
One of the executive decisions I made, however, ended up ruining a piece of scenery that’s going to be used in an upcoming show. Whoops. But we fixed it. Sort of. I was supposed to be cutting a straight line but it ended up squiggly. My professor came over, looked at it for a second, and burst out laughing at our handiwork.
After a little sanding and praying to Jesus (the god of carpentry), the piece of wood looked less like a spaghetti noodle and more like a straight line. I guess you could say I’m a carpentry genius, but I don’t want to be immodest.
*I do have fingers.