I vowed that I would exercise today as it seems to help me sleep and feel better about life in general. So, I did.
I guess you could call what I did working out. I ellipticalled while watching the Food Channel… seems sort of weird to have that channel on in a gym but I digress. As I watched people shove donuts down their undiscerning gullets on the tv, I ellipticaled my way into fitness history.
Actually, I didn’t. I made it to about fifteen minutes and called it a day. I patted the elliptical with affection and washed the non-existent sweat off the hand-holds (I didn’t stay on long enough to actually sweat) and moved on to another machine. I told myself that I wasn’t actually tired from being on an elliptical for only fifteen minutes, I was simply “bored” of being on it. I like to give myself the benefit of doubt.
I moved on to some strange machine that was vaguely elliptical-like but more exciting. Because of the excitement factor, I thought I would be able to go for a longer period of time and actually work out. But no, a minute in, and I realized that, no, I wasn’t bored. I was tired. I made it to five minutes and then called it quits.
I proceeded to lay out a yoga mat with the intention of doing ab exercises. Good intentions were not enough to get me to actually complete any ab exercises, however. I half-heartedly stretched for probably a total of thirty seconds and then laid motionless on the mat in the yoga position I call “beached narwhal.”